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I have three kids under 10 who don't expect—or even want-to play with me. It took some practice, but over time, we've all learned we're better off doing our own thing: the kids, without stodgy parental interference, and my husbandand I, unhooked from the assumption that we have to play to be present.It wasn't always this way. As a toddler, if my first child wasn't digging in the trash or chewing on the couch cushions, he was rampaging through the housewith an imaginary weapon. He never listened. He tried to run into traffic. The constant wrangling and vigilance were so exhausting that my husband and Ididn't have the energy to play the way my son preferred. Instead, I said noand stopped all day long, and when my scolding seeped into the playing, I feltguilty and frustrated.I was a terrible playmate, a tired mother who didlittle beyond obstructing. But when my son was about 3, I realized his fictive worlds were vivid enough to continue without me. All he needed, at first, was a listener. After awhile, he would head into his bedroom, alone, to transform it into the placethat lived in his mind. It was freedom—for all of us. Thus began an experiment with expectation.Little by little, my husband and I would stretch the timeour son could safely play by himself. My daughter was born a year after that. She is shy and moody,and she has beencontent to play on her own since she could crawl. I've never met a more self-possessed child—she used to tell me when she needed a nap. She has never likedthe sorts of games her brother prefers, and play between them has always beena negotiation. The games they've created combine his love of fantasy and dramawith her need for realism; when they set up their pretend yak farm withpillows and stuffed animals, she enjoys an imagined sunset, while her brother worries about predators who have yet to grace this earthly plane. In the past, if they couldn't agree on a game's direction, I would try tohelp, only to make it worse. When Mom is there to listen, they turn defensiveand mean; when I say, "Figure it out," they do. I know I'm lucky they haveeach other to play with,and so I've taught myself to hold back. I tell myselfthey're learning about compromise and boundaries. I have a bad temper. I canbe critical. And I don't like to play, especially pretend, or anything with dolls or figures, or any games that ask me to hide or wield a Nerf gun. Mymotto is "Moms don't play." Our third child joined the family with this systemin place, and he is, as most third children are, remarkably independent.
[单选题]
A.a child's imagination may help him play by himself
B.parents should let their child play safely outside
C.a child's fictive worlds need his mother
D.parents should be the first listeners
[单选题]
A.She is obedient and quiet.
B.She lives in her own world.
C.She has her own favor in games.
D.She likes fantasy when playing games.
[单选题]
A.shows that the mom is lucky to have two kids to play with each other
B.makes the kids get rid of the idea of having mom to accompany them
C.tells the kids that moms are occupied with housework
D.indicates that moms are not good game players
[单选题]
A.Parents are often good playmates of their kids.
B.Parents may give their kids more freedom to play.
C.Caring parents are usually problem solvers.
D.Strict parents will bring up independent kids.
[单选题]
A.She is tolerant and considerate.
B.She is violent and moody.
C.She is blue and frustrated.
D.She is impatient and critical.
